Sustainability Report: Make your own!
Corporations spend large amounts of time and money making Sustainability Reports. CSR reports are out of style. Sustainability Reports are now all the rage in the business world. These reports may seem like a lot of work. Businesses hire consultants, design fancy graphics and compute complex statistics.
But the reality is you can design your own Sustainability Report for free, in a few minutes. All you need is Microsoft Word.
Sustainability Report: Step 1
Open a Word Processor like Microsoft Word. You need a title for your report. Something dreamy like “A Better World” or using words like People, Planet or Community. Don’t forget to sprinkle these buzzwords throughout the report.
Sustainability Report: Step 2
Pictures! Since most Sustainability or CSR Reports are superficial, pictures form the core of the report. MS Word’s ClipArt is a free source of pictures. Focus on blue or green coloring.
There are three genres of pictures that must be included. Planet Pics, Leaf Pics, and Dirt Pics. The classic “hands holding dirt with a plant pic” will never fail you. “Multi-colored hands holding the planet” is another good choice.
Stock photography of “employees” picking up garbage are everywhere for a reason. It works.
Sustainability Report: Step 3
Statistics. Add statistics that most people only pretend to care about. Explain how you cut 129.5 tons of GHG Emissions. That’s like taking 1,248 cars off the road. You reduced electricity usage by 17.8 megawatts. The equivalent of 2,065 light bulbs.
If your company closed a factory or department, this is great. You can claim reductions in GHG Emissions and water use. If you added a factory or department, boast about the jobs you created.
Use large fonts and green colored info-graphics to highlight these statistics. Include only positive statistics, ‘progress’. Ignore statistics that deteriorated or unpopular metrics.
Sustainability Report: Step 4
Explain that your company really does care about the planet. Include quotes from executives saying how they put sustainability at the core of the business. Ignore what the actual business is about. The core of every business is the planet.
Finally, boast about trivial accomplishments, such as “we turn off the lights when we’re not using them”.
As a bonus, include leftovers from your formerly produced CSR report. Such as building a community center for the locals. Ignore its GHG Emissions, that doesn’t count.